Almost 9 months since my last post.... A week to go & it'd be 9 months... It wasn't deliberate & I had no idea it had been so long... I was just keeping my thoughts to myself all this while...
Well... Its not that now I'm gonna give vent to my emotions all of a sudden on this blog... But I've decided to be more vocal than I used to be :)
I hadn't realized I made this blog & had left it unattended for until I talked to one of my close friends... I don't remember exactly what she said but our conversation shifted from mundane topics to blogs! She was surprised to know that i had made 2 blogs & had not written anything much in them since months...
These months have been severely taxing on me & my thought process...
I might have written if I had the time... or maybe if I had an opportunity... but it seemed like forever & I never had a chance to give form to my thoughts... It's funny how things haven't changed much in my life since the last post. I can still see the same "Me" and the same "Them" around and life has only gotten more complicated than ever!
Did I complicate it...??? I really donno. Maybe. Maybe not.
I wouldn't wanna play the blame game now... I ain't in the mood for games. I feel heavy... I feel weak... I feel weighed down by my brazen emotions...
I feel like I carry the burden of a horrid past & it is tossing & turning inside me... I've carried the burden of hopelessness & loneliness in my womb these 9 months... I cant take it anymore & it isn't right to carry it for more than what is needed of it...
It has now turned into a fully grown loneliness! I've fed it more than enough from my system... I've given my blood & love & everything possible until now... Few more days from now I have to get it outta my system... give it it's rightful birth -the rightful place in the society...
I know, I cant completely let it go... its quite not possible... it's mine. it has always been mine... but I have to let it out...
I lie on my back... looking up at the sky, waiting for the night to give way to the day & subsequently repeat its process until I am ready... Until then, i'll lie here... taking joy in the pain... The pain of my pregnant emotional self...
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