The Happy Husband

It was the middle of the month -and a week day too. Perhaps that was the reason there weren't many customers at one of the city's biggest clothing stores. A young man was walking about restlessly looking around, checking his watch and the handful of customers at regular intervals. He was also fiddling with his phone every now and then & checking out women's clothes on the line.

As he kept walking around, his eyes fell on a woman, who seemed like she couldn't figure out what to buy. She was holding the same set of clothes in two different colors and staring at them. He walked up to her & stood right in front of her. The lady took her eyes off from the clothes she was holding up in her hands and noticed that he had a charming smile on his face.

"Why don't you try them both on?". He asked.

The lady didn't know what to say. She seemed a bit startled at the sudden suggestion coming her way.

"Both these dresses will look really good on you... But personally, I think the red one would compliment your complexion better".

"Thank you". She said with a smile that was shy and at the same time a bit wary.

Before she could say anything more, he continued. "We have a whole new collection ma'am".

Pointing to one end of the room, he says, "I'm sure you'll find more than what you're looking for over there".

She smiled at him, this time not so wary as earlier and began to walk towards the direction the man pointed to. As if remembering something, she stopped abruptly and gave the man one of the dresses she was holding. She kept the red dress in her hands and said, "I'll take this one".

"Sure. Happy shopping", he said as he smiled and watched her walk away.

After a few minutes a young chubby woman came out of the trial room. He walked up to her and she showed him how her dress fit, posing from different angles. He gave her his approval as well as some more clothes to try on. As she went back to the trial room he waited outside patiently.

The lady who went to the other trial room earlier came out wearing the dress the man suggested. She looked very good & happy in her new set of clothes.

"Told you", said the man.

The lady blushed and gave him a big smile. She thanked the man and went back to the trial room. 

The man continued to walk around the shop. 

His gaze froze on a tall dusky woman who was taking out clothes from different sections and keeping them back almost immediately. She looked lost and confused. 

He walked up to her and introduced himself.

"Hello! Can I help you?".

She took her eyes from the clothes and looked at him doubtfully.

"I'm Aakaash. Fashion consultant. Almost everything you see here are designed by me".

Her face brightened up as she said excitedly. "Wow! Such a pleasure to meet you!".

She put her hand forward and said as she shook his hands, "I'm Shweta".

"So, what are you in the mood to buy, Shweta?" He asked.

She looked around unable to make up her mind and shrug her shoulders. 

The man went ahead & picked up a few tops and bottoms for her and handed it to her. 

She looked at them with dismay.

"Ohh, my husband is definitely not gonna like 'these' type of clothes", she said.

He looked at her with an amused expression on his face & said, "Well, no offence ma'am... But I'm sure your husband wouldn't have a problem if some other woman wore 'these' type of clothes!".

A chuckle escaped her lips as she agreed to his comment. 

She took a good look at the clothes in his hands.

"Also I believe, you are what you wear, and you become what you wear" he said. "If you are happy in these clothes please buy them. If not, you can try some of those boring daily wear Kurtas at 30% discount".

She looked at the Kurtas for a moment and then at the clothes in the man's hand. She grabbed the clothes from his hands & walked towards the trial room.

A few minutes later, the chubby lady from the trial room, came up to the man & showed him what she had selected. He nodded in approval & accompanied her to the billing section. The lady walked out hurriedly after paying the bill. The man took her bags and followed her outside.

Meanwhile, the other lady, Shweta looked much more confident and happy about her new clothes as she walked out of the trial room. She went up to the billing area and told the girl at the counter "You know, I've always loved shopping here. But this is the first time I've felt so good about it... Thanks to your Fashion consultant Aakaash!".

The sales-girl at the counter took her eyes off her work and looked bewildered at Shweta's comment. "Thank you for the kind words ma'am", she said. "But we don't have any in-house fashion consultants here". 

Shweta looked startled.

A little far away from them, on the other side of the mall, the man was walking with the chubby woman. 

"I'm so sorry baby", said the woman. "I took some three hours to shop. You're not angry no?", she enquired eagerly.

"Not at all. How can I be angry with you?", he said. "I'm always happy. I'm a happy husband!".

-Aakaash Nair.

  22.09.2015

Crying over spilled Water!

This has been described as the worst/hottest summer we have faced in decades. With no sign of the monsoon season approaching & lack of proper water supply, the city of Kochi as well as other places in Kerala face severe water shortage. There is a water-shutdown for 2 days (6th May & 7th May) and we have been advised by authorities to save water & use it judiciously next couple of days. At my in-laws place (in the middle of the city) they do not have a well... which means that the water tank is the ONLY storage possible. We hope they can survive for 2 days with what is left in the tank. At the apartment where I live with my wife, away from the city, surrounded by ample trees, we are facing an unexpected water shortage. Wells have dried up, tanker lorries that supply water in times of emergency have stopped as their companies have shut down and people (mis)using water at our residential area have resulted in daily water shutdown from 10 AM to 6 PM in my apartment. My best friend who owns a hotel chain in Kochi faced few hours of no water supply right in the middle of lunch time, their peak business hours. We have no idea when things are gonna be restored to normalcy... and we have no idea IF it'll remain normal hereafter. So.. Who is to blame?? No one but us. You, Me... Every single one of us. I don't think anyone (not just Kochiites but others in every city/town in India) can say we didn't see this coming. We have had enough & more warnings and we have brushed aside subtle as well as in-your-face awareness campaigns/posts like it didn't matter to us. Water shortage seemed like a problem faced by tribals in distant Africa, never something we'd have to face in Kerala- 'God's own country' right?? Sadly we have come to that point where we don't need written articles (like this one) or hoardings by NGOs to tell us we are in deep shit for what we did in the past. No point crying over spilled water now... You've already wasted as much water enough to provide the needy for a decade, cut down hundreds of trees to build houses, shopping malls and whatever in the name of progress and for a better TOMORROW!!! Tomorrow?? Really????? Funny isn't it?
Its sort of too late for us anyway... but never too late for the next generation. Save water, save trees, plant as many trees as you can, find ways to conserve water when there is rain and perhaps you'll leave a generation that would thank you from their heart for the 'little' good you did instead of cursing you for the mess you've created.

Take care. Make life worthwhile & meaningful. God bless!

Patriotism Ki Maa Ki Aankh!

OK! Call me unpatriotic or whatever fuckin shit you want to. If you have no better use of that desi topi you bought last year, please book the nearest maidaan & start an 'India Against Aakaash' campaign right away... But if you ask me, I care a crocodile's ass for whatever you think of this post.

As some of you might know, Diego Maradona (needs no introduction), was in Kannur, Kerala this week. Lemme not waste time in giving you details of his visit you already know about from the TV, Newspapers and whatever! What bothered me outright was the footballer screaming "Indiaaaaaa.... Indiaaaaa" as the crowd cheered his name & went into a frenzy. I am not balled over at the hysteria of the poor Malayali crowd for a player of Maradona's stature. What irked me was the player's blazing ignorance in geography. I am not extolling my geographical genius here, but I am bloody well aware of where Maradona comes from. Of course, I must admit it is all thanks to my geography teacher Sindhu miss, who in her own inimitable tempting style taught my class how far the Andes mountain range spread. Sigh! Good 'ol days when she'd........ Oops! Sorry.... Drifted off topic :P

You don't hear me scream "South America.... South America!" when Argentina's playing right??? Bledddy Naaaaansense... Then why Mr. Maradona you shouting "Indiaaaa... Indiaaaaa" at the top of your lungs??? In case you didn't realize, a Karan Joharishly creepy but ultra magnanimous Malayali philanthropist called Bobby Chemmannur got you to this strange land of crazy football fanatics called Kerala... North Kerala or Malabar to be more specific. Kerala, in case you didn't know is a country in itself with its capital at Dubai, Washington D.C, Bangalore, Moon & everywhere else except Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum for those who've never used a tongue cleaner). So if you can't scream "Keralaaaaa... Kerala!" when you're here as a OUR guest... pardon my audaciousness, you can go fuck yourself somewhere in that area where Sindhu miss told me to shade darker (some big shit volcano I believe) on the Andes mountains. Thank you.


Sincerely,

A Bleddy yaangri Mallu.