Reticent Love

Woman, have I really been far away?
Running short of words...
Afraid of nothin...
With nothin at all around...
Oh! how could you even know?
How could I have let you know?
When there was all but nothin in me!

--Poem By

...Abruptus

Yeah! I blew it all away...
Towards the midnight sky...
It was once right there within me...
It was almost there...
How could they possibly know?
I can understand how little...
They understood what i was going through!

--Poem By

The Swan Song

I see, you've been spreadin dirt, my love...
blatant lies you told me...
all of it i realize now were so untrue...
and you crowned yourself among those men...
that gave so much filth to you...
I think you should know now...
There is only so much time...
Before your song comes to an inevitable end!

-- Poem By

Precipitated GuiLt

Oh! My Precious angel...
You've lost your halo...
Senseless, Aimless, Laden with blithesome ignorance...
You have now chosen your own road...
And you've decided to walk on forever...
Believing that you're clean...
But I hope you know...
You carry the burden of a guilty conscience....

--Poem By

Waiting..... Bearing The EmotionaL Labor Pain!

Almost 9 months since my last post.... A week to go & it'd be 9 months... It wasn't deliberate & I had no idea it had been so long... I was just keeping my thoughts to myself all this while...
Well... Its not that now I'm gonna give vent to my emotions all of a sudden on this blog... But I've decided to be more vocal than I used to be :) 
I hadn't realized I made this blog & had left it unattended for until I talked to one of my close friends... I don't remember exactly what she said but our conversation shifted from mundane topics to blogs! She was surprised to know that i had made 2 blogs & had not written anything much in them since months... 
These months have been severely taxing on me & my thought process... 
I might have written if I had the time... or maybe if I had an opportunity... but it seemed like forever & I never had a chance to give form to my thoughts... It's funny how things haven't changed much in my life since the last post. I can still see the same "Me" and the same "Them" around and life has only gotten more complicated than ever! 
Did I complicate it...??? I really donno. Maybe. Maybe not. 
I wouldn't wanna play the blame game now... I ain't in the mood for games. I feel heavy... I feel weak... I feel weighed down by my brazen emotions... 
I feel like I carry the burden of a horrid past & it is tossing & turning inside me... I've carried the burden of hopelessness & loneliness in my womb these 9 months... I cant take it anymore & it isn't right to carry it for more than what is needed of it...
It has now turned into a fully grown loneliness! I've fed it more than enough from my system... I've given my blood & love & everything possible until now... Few more days from now I have to get it outta my system... give it it's rightful birth -the rightful place in the society... 
I know, I cant completely let it go... its quite not possible... it's mine. it has always been mine... but I have to let it out... 
I lie on my back... looking up at the sky, waiting for the night to give way to the day & subsequently repeat its process until I am ready... Until then, i'll lie here... taking joy in the pain... The pain of my pregnant emotional self...

New Kinda Loneliness....???

I'm sure I'd get over this phase...
Just like I do always!
Its just that I haven't been working for quite a long time [completed 12 months of joblessness & frustration on Jan 8th] and I'm not in my elements.... It might seem weird to some but i am feeling a new kinda Loneliness.... Loneliness even in Company....!!!!! Each time I am with a friend, whoever it maybe [now don't frown buddy... I ain't blaming you] I feel lonely & separated from that person... Like I don't even exist! It Hurts... Like I'm talking to myself or to the wall or sometimes just coz I have no better job than talking! It's been some time now... Some of my friends miss words or even sentences in my conversation. Sometimes I skip words on purpose & no one realizes. Funny No? Fucking Crap I'd say.
By the way, all those who think I'm crazy or boring & that's the reason I am being hurt unknowingly by pals, you're wrong! I hardly talk much & I talk only topics related to the person. Seriously. Its Not That.
So... Is there anyone else who feel like me or maybe ever felt like this?? I wonder if I should be "alone" with friends or be "alone" with myself...

Wow..... Wat can i say?

Hmmm... 1st post......
Juz Like that...
more 2 come soon...
Byeeeee..........